As more and more couples live together before marriage, traditional wedding gifts, which were given to help the newlywed couple set up their new life together, are no longer needed. If you want to read more about it, check out our last post here. Luckily, wedding registries are modernizing along with the rest of the wedding industry, and now it is easier to ask for what you really need.
To Ask Or Not To Ask For Cash?
The hardest part is that many couples feel uncomfortable asking for cash instead of wedding gifts for fear of offending their guests. But worry not, we have outlined the most tactful ways to ask for a cash gift rather than a more traditional gift.
Be Direct
Nothing looks more suspicious than dancing around the subject, and nothing is worse than receiving gifts you don’t want or need. Be direct and make it easy for your guests to find information on how and what kinds of gifts you would like to receive. There are several ways to achieve this:
- Mention it in your invitations. Include a “no gifts, please” or “no boxed gifts” line directly in your formal invitations. Follow up with more information on what gifts you would like on your wedding website.
- Add a poetic “in lieu of gifts” wording or poem to your invitation enclosures. Who doesn’t like a poem? You can find several short limericks or longer poems that will help you ask guests for cash instead of physical gifts.
- If you don’t want to put any reference to gifts at all in your wedding invitation or its enclosures, then simply mention it on your wedding website. Including a registry section in your wedding website will make it easy for guests to find all the important information they need on your wedding in one place. A great resource for this type of service is companies like Zankyou.
- Have your friends and family spread the word. Your friends and family are your reference points for guests who can’t reach you directly. Make sure they convey the correct information by word of mouth – this is also aided by having the information clearly stated on your wedding website.
Be Specific
If you’re going to ask for cash, the polite thing to do is let your guests know what they are contributing towards and how you intend to spend their gifts. It’s not rude, in fact, we guarantee your friends and family would rather give you something that they know you want rather than have to guess.
The easiest way to do this is through an online cash registry like Zankyou where you can elegantly and easily show your guests exactly what you need. You can list any number of options such as elements of your honeymoon including spa treatments, romantic dinners, or entrances to a museum or popular tourist attraction. Or, you may want to use the money for that new stereo system the two of you have been dreaming about. It could even be for a future baby fund.
If you and your soon-to-be are lucky enough to have everything you need, you can also donate your cash gifts to a charity of your choice or a specific cause you support.
Be Prepared
You should still be prepared to receive traditional gifts. No matter what, these are gifts after all and your guest can really get you anything they would like. So, you want to guide, not dictate to your guests what you would like, but the choice of gift is ultimately always up to the giver. You can mitigate this by setting up a small traditional registry for the guests who prefer to send a physical gift. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be creative with it! Even small specialty stores have registries these days. Are you a kayak enthusiast? Register at an outdoor store. A painter? Then do your registry at an art supply store.
Be Thankful
Lastly, always remember to say thank you and send your guests a note of appreciation for their attendance and gifts. You can also update them on the progress of their gifts if they contributed to moments in your honeymoon or toward renovating your home.
Be sure to check out a few other wedding etiquette related posts on SnapKnot.
